Everyone gets anxious

Everyone gets anxious and most of us feel anxious much of the time. It is normal to be anxious. This is not a bad thing but a fact of life. Knowing that anxiety is part of our very existence not only normalises it but can help reduce the fear that we might have when anxious. Why do we feel this way? Because we all need to be alert to stay safe.  

Anxiety can actually protect us. We grow up hearing other people issue warnings (out of their own anxiety and desire to keep us safe) all the time. 'Stop at the side of the road and look both ways'. Now that's useful information so we don't get run over. In the same way we have been told how to protect ourselves in many practical ways. If we reach to pick up the kettle for some boiling water we are aware that we might burn ourselves. Our response to knowing this is to focus on the object, to reach for the handle and to carefully poor the hot water out. This is not full proof as accidents do happen...but when accidents happen we can learn how to be more careful to be safe or suffer the consequences. When we sit a test anxiety can help us to focus. When our gut alerts us to potential danger then we can take precautions and respond in kind. 

Our feelings, thinking and bodily responses vary according to our experience of anxiety and the degree of control we have over our anxiety. Next time you get emotionally anxious try to notice what you are feeling, thinking, your bodies reaction to what you are feeling and what you do in response. This is useful information and helps us to problem solve or may even prompt us to get help if our anxiety has begun to control us and we have difficulty managing it.  

Some people think it is weak to admit that they feel anxious or upset or worried. They wrongly believe that unless you feel comfortable and confident all the time that there is something wrong with you. But we are emotional beings. Human beings that are wired to be safe and to respond to threat whether it is real or perceived. It's part of life and part of knowing who we are and how we connect.

Next time you feel any of these uncomfortable emotions why not blurt it out to a friend or a neighbour or someone you trust. You are not asking them to fix it but to let you be you. And just maybe they will be themselves and share something with you. We can acknowledge inwardly that we get anxious, often with good reason and we can to talk about it to normalise our experience and help others to do the same. We can help each other to express our feelings and to be comfortable with our uncomfortable feelings as they are part of being a human and useful given the complexities of life. By doing this we can actually help ourselves to feel better, help someone else to feel better and help reduce the stigma of mental health. 

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