Feeling secure?

How are you, is a standard greeting of many. Some habitually ask this but are not attuned to listening or hearing a response and others genuinely want to understand and know how we are. We can be annoyed by those who are not authentic in their asking and we can be shy of responding to those who genuinely seem to care. But most importantly we need to know how we are and to articulate this for ourselves before we can discern who we can trust with such honesty.

So how are we? What is our body telling us? What physiological symptoms are we experiencing? What thoughts and feelings are driving our behaviour? We need to Go NUTS, a framework we use to help folk discern what’s going on and what they can change in order to feel better and to be our authentic selves and make choices that are right for us. As we get to know ourselves, our strengths and our limitations then we can experience self compassion and hone in on what we need first, and then we have greater capacity to love and care for others.

Insecure people can obligingly say yes to what others want from them when in reality they’d be better off saying no. Insecure people say they feel fine when everything within them is screaming no you’re not! Insecure people might comply out of fear of retribution or displeasing someone. We can feel angry at others due to their demands on us but it is our responsibility to choose what is best for us, to face our fear, our insecurities and to stop living under the pressure of someone else expectations. Please note that this process is way more complicated for those in abusive relationships given the safety issues and the need for a greater support system.

How can we be more secure within ourselves? What do we need to feel more secure? How can we add meaning and order in our lives? Will we choose to attune to our way of being and the things we are thinking, feeling and doing as a result? For this to happen we need a clear sense of what is best for us and be willing to start making any necessary change.

If you’re stuck?

Let’s Talk!