Make Way - For Pleasure

Chemistry generally allures us and physical touch seems more desirable in the flirtatious stage of our relationships.

At some point, one or the other, or both partners, can lose this allure, this desire (for all kinds of reasons) and their libido may diminish.

What are our expectations?

Our sex education has often been minimal and we have the absurd notion that Sex is basically for men, that they have the greatest need for pleasure and that it’s PiV or we have failed to achieve the goal…in other words for two to procreate and for one of us to get pleasure.

A lot of women would not agree…they want pleasure and they like to give pleasure in creative and traditional ways.

A lot of men would not agree…they get pleasure from pleasuring their partners and can creatively engage with or without erectile function.

Rather than giving up on pleasure and not sensually connecting with one another…let’s RE-EDUCATE!!

What if we take PiV off the agenda and explore what is actually enjoyable and arousing for both partners for a period of time?

This might help us to re-engage and stop us from slipping into past expectations and routines.

We need to normalise both spontaneous and receptive arousal with COMMUNICATION!!

How we communicate our desires and our wants makes all the difference…there is no place for demands, coercion, or anything non-consensual. But there is need for agreement and boundaries and negotiating around the arousal needs and wants that we have.

What if the higher desire partner could own their desire and playfully invite the other partner into their play?

What if the lower desire partner responded curiously and felt free to accept their invitation to play?

What if the roles were reversed and the other lower desire partner initiated the play time?

Are we willing to flirt with new ideas and to learn/to re-learn how we have experienced and how we might like to experience arousal.

We begin by talking about our desires and what we want to experience.

The best gifts that we can to give to one another, for our relationships sake, are Time, Talk and Touch.

If you’re stuck?

Let’s talk!