Kindness includes me, myself and I.

Being kind is virtuous. As wikipedia states, “kindness is a behaviour marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant disposition and concern and consideration for others”. In other words, being kind includes being nice, polite and caring for others.

When we value kindness we see opportunities to express that kindness. According to the dictionary, kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. In his hit song, Try A Little Kindness, Glen Campbell sang about “helping someone on their way” Exemplifying kindness as a desired way of being with character traits that make for a better society. And it does! When kindness is our ‘go to’ then we usually respond in kind (pun intended). But sometimes we get a sense that we are to be kind at all costs…kindness no matter what, when it’s truthfully unnecessary or perhaps even to our own detriment?

Ellen Degeneres finishes each show warmly with a reminder to be kind. It is tempting to believe that kindness is something we only demonstrate to others. But given that our emotional and mental health are more openly talked about these days, most people understand that we also need to be kind to ourselves.

Whatever our best qualities and strengths are, we benefit more from them when we keep them in balance. When we over invest and have no conscious need for limits, then we have probably tipped the scales too far in the giving direction and can be left feeling spent and even burnt out. But how do we restore balance?

We need to be kind to ourselves so that we can be kind to others. A carer needs to mind their physical health, a parent needs to mind their own emotional health, a teacher needs to mind their own mental health, a swimmer needs to mind their own physical health, a minister needs to mind their own spiritual health. Holistically we all need to pay attention and mind our emotional. mental, physical, social and spiritual health. Then we can begin to identify our own limitations, share them with those we are supporting and together express genuine kindness and humility on balance. Strength to strength.

To survive (a basic instinct) we need to look out for ourselves too. To thrive (a chosen instinct) we need to Go NUTS to reflect and re-evaluate our lives and how we are choosing to live them.

If you’re stuck?

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